Self Led Activism

As always… not an expert here, I’ve done a lot of reading and listening and have taken others’ words and applied them to my knowledge of IFS .. I’ve included references at the bottom. I’ve just had Covid and so I’m currently not sure if there’ll be a video from the second IFS Drop In on Saturday. Hope this all makes sense, the following was put together with covid fuzzy head!

There’s a lot going on in the world right now that might have you and parts of you concerned.  We’ve talked just now and in previous Drop Ins about protectors coming in to take on more extreme roles, when there’s been trauma… traumas in the world, in communities, and in families.  The cultural legacy burdens of the UK and the western world – of patriarchy, individualism, racism and materialism… have moved us – in my view - from our connections with each other, the earth… to create some very strong protectors – both managers (logical, strategic, planners, left brain, profit orientated, results driven, perfectionist, critics of ourselves and others, please the shareholders or save the world) and firefighters (not only addiction, but rage, shut down, dissociation, fantasy, paranoid parts).  We have, in the Western world, seemingly set up some external polarisations, politically right against left etc.  Conversations around social justice seem to be equally polarised, entrenched, stuck, unyielding, into right and wrong, who’s the better person.  Its complex and confusing, particularly if you’re from two or more camps, which fall into ever smaller bubbles.  Accusations of hypocrisy abound.  Culturally we seemed to have stopped listening to our hearts, our inner voices, instead exiled them, and made vulnerability dangerous, to be shut away, and the complexities of the argument reduced to either in or out…

I imagine it’ll come as no surprise to you, that this topic, Self Led (or Introspective) Activism is not going to necessarily be first ‘out there in the world’. I’m going to call you to first start within yourself.  To do the U turn, to find your Self and your values, your compassion, clarity, curiosity, courage, confidence.. presence… and meet the world from that place.   Be the change you want to see in the world.  Finding the space between our thoughts, feelings and impulses may result in  a more considered and values based action rather than straight out reaction (Wendy Kendall). 

I went to a Marianne Fry, gestalt talk years ago by Dr Cilla Elworthy (https://scillaelworthy.com/) who argues that change comes from within us, that peace comes from within, if we get to know our own reactivity, including our anger and internal critic, we can consult the wisdom of our mighty heart.  She asks ‘what is going to shift the level of consciousness around the fundamental issues that humanity faces?’ for her it’s the Mighty Heart.  Which is very much the Self in IFS terms, in my view. Currently our societies prioritise left brain managers, decisions made from the mind.. they are brilliant at planning, strategy, logic, but they can’t see the bigger picture, they can’t intuit what’s needed, sense feelings.  We get reactive and locked in to our arguments.  We need Self … the brilliance of the heart, we can feel the values that underlie our decisions, speak truth to power, use conflict as opportunity… and find out what you really want to do with ‘your one precious life’    

So Cilla Elworthy, IFS which is why we’re all here today.. NVC, Buddhist traditions.. they all seem to come together.  The struggle against oppression is sacred internal work. Continually returning to what is going on within you and inviting you to engage with it compassionately.  Invited to go deeper into your own experiences and embrace your own journey as infinitely valuable and full of wisdom (even as confusing or oppressed as they might be due to systemic racial or class oppression).  Every experience (especially experiences of injustice) contain possibilities to guide us even further into a commitment to justice for all, but these insights must be tended to with patience and excavated with detailed attention and care. Inviting you to embrace the possibility of identifying as two or three groups and be totally credible in doing so, with its paradox, complexity, biodiversity.  All experiences of suffering are indeed worthy of investigating and ultimately transforming (starting in one’s own interior person and flowing into the larger society and world). Because the power of compassion-based activism is rooted within the interior life of a person, personal spiritual empowerment and presence - a call to embodiment and remembering the body as the carrier of resources to illumine the appropriate action.

The struggle for justice is ultimately won on the inside, rather than over and against an “enemy” on the outside… overcoming the temptation of demonizing or de(hu)manizing others.   Looking at our own parts, and the interrelatedness of others is the path that heals the spiritual sickness at the core of evil and oppression and this stance interrupts the cycles of violence and oppression, exposing them. Compassion has the greatest potentiality for changing the heart and behaviors of oppression because it is this force that refuses to be stuck in the dualistic binary of separateness.

Self led activism calls for both personal agency and also collective community solidarity and accountability. a profound connection to life and hence embody in the world a presence of peacemaking congruent with the spiritual principles of IFS.  

so … how do we do this?

First  Getting to know our parts!   How much of our activism comes out of parts?  Our rage, or self righteousness or fear, the wounds that we still carry. Dehumanising and ostracising the other.  That’s coming from parts.. Social action parts are not the same as Self led.  We want to tend to and listen to those parts, as all parts have wisdom and maybe speak FOR them, not from them…  we want to access the essence within us.. that can listen to the polarities within and find our true values at our core.   Often, we really like the parts of ourselves that take action, fight against injustice, and advocate for change.  That get rageful and self righteous. We may strongly identify with these parts, fearing who we’d be without them. These parts tend to give us a sense of purpose, of power, drive, that we’re doing ‘something’.

There’s often a polarity… On the other side of the table… We also may experience guilt, shame or dislike around any parts of us that are not taking action, that we are not “doing enough.”  Getting on with life as normal. Or we might wonder what’s wrong with us for not caring more about certain issues, or feel closed off or numb when these topics arise in our lives. The ones who dislike getting into arguments and shaming others, that get very triggered by the other. I invite you to consider that any and all of these feelings and parts are valid, even if they appear in opposition to each other.

The parts tend to ramp up – particularly if there is an ‘opponent’ on the inside or the outside.  We tend to get managers or firefighters that become very rigid, stuck in their roles… the common response to injustice is often to seek prescribed or preconceived actions, that we should act in certain ways at all times… So we tend to retaliate, and then cascade our parts… be overwhelmed and paralyzed by the weight of the injustice, or to (consciously or unconsciously) avoid confrontation at one’s own demise

Recognising  - like we would in couples therapy – we need to be extending curiosity and compassion to the other person, that might invite deeper relationship.  If we work from the idea that everyone is doing the best that they can, probably from a protector, protecting an exile.  It’s so important to realise that the other also has a whole load of parts: the more extreme reaction, the more extreme vulnerability inside.  Look behind the part!  Listen to the deep need/vulnerability.   I’m going to invite you to trust there is goodness in the other, and invite you to try and understand where the other is coming from, so that they can relax and it opens up the possibility of connection and common ground.   If they have a part that parts of you react to, how about doing that u turn and see how this relates to your own experience, do you have a part that somehow believes what the other is saying? That there’s history here within you? Dig deep!

So we the key message here… if its intense.. we need to listening to our own nervous system… are we activated? Shut down?  Where have you felt this rage?  This grief?   Working with your parts, seeing what needs help inside.. they might be triggered from a much younger age… the more we can work with the trigger – the injustice may be related to something from a very long time ago.  If we can work with these parts, find out what they do in our system… we catch them up that we’re the age we are and give them maybe some comfort that we’re there and we’ve got this.  We can then deeply experience and listen to our own values and realise there is another way of engaging with issues of oppression that is innovative, creative, and outside the box.   Self is able to sit with the paradox, the polarity, to be with…

Then… deep within us, our Self… are our VALUES and they can paradoxically be in polarization too…  All of us are activists according to Professor Frank Rogers.    We need to listen inside and then work from there to promote the kind of world that we want to live in.  The world where that embodies the kind of values that we think are important.  That doesn’t just mean those who march, or protest… is any single time that one of us extends kindness to a neighbour, or listens with curiosity to someone who disagrees with us.  Listening in to your heart, what the quiet voices inside are saying.  Self led activisim means engaging in that sort of activity from our Self essence – from curiosity, compassion, connection, courage, creativity. 

so

Frank has created this compass..  The compass offers direction through the challenges a way of being a warrior for healing and justice with a world of violence.. be a warrior whose weapons are those of compassion. In Rogers’s compass, each spiritual energy is held in tension with another energy across the axis of the compass. These tension points create seemingly paradoxical values such as “firm limits around violation” and “universal inclusivity”.   Very much IFS polarisation  - holding the tension of the both/and while rejecting the binary of either/or.  Support the dynamic multiplicity of experiences

So to sum up…

Self led activism – the answer is always a u turn…  working with your parts, the polarities, finding out what they want us to know, if they have history in our history… inviting those younger parts to relax a little and trust that you, your core Self will know what to do, you have the overview listening inside to what your values are.  Just like you would with a friend or a partner, the ‘other’ has parts too, that may be triggered.  Looking behind them might help.   You can listen to the paradoxes, the personal conflicts, asking inside if anyone else has views… you will feel your values and how they are more multifaceted that your parts may at first offer you.  The answers are more likely to come  and you’ll know what you need to do?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WboIC25NmQ

https://ifstherapyonline.com/ifs-telehealth-collective-blog/using-ifs-for-self-led-activism

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/transforming-ourselves-through-inner-activism-wendy

This costs $40 nb… https://courses.ifs-institute.com/item/2017-ifs-conference-selfled-activism-releasing-change-agent-50018

Meditation

Inviting you to soften or close your eyes and invite any parts of you who don’t want to be in this conversation – which may be difficult for some - to find a cosy corner of your heart, or go to a safe space where they don’t have to listen, they can sleep or play, or use noise cancelling headphones etc.  They can listen in whenever they’d like.  We’re not banishing them at all, just offering choice to them.

So.. inviting you to call to mind a social justice topic that matters to you.  Climate emergency. Anti Racism. Refugees. Incarcaration.  Cost of living crisis.  Treatment of LBGTQ and trans folk.   Whichever.

Take a few moments to set up a screen, through which you can imagine hearing from someone who’s position differs from yours, even thinking of getting into an argument with them about the topic. You can let everyone inside know that they are safely contained. Begin to notice what your body is showing you — are you feeling heat in your chest, a tightness in your brow, a clenched jaw or some other physical experience? Breathe some attention into any sensations you have. When you’re ready, shift your attention to any words, images or thoughts that have arisen as you focus on calling to mind this heated debate about your chosen topic.  In this imaginary debate, what is your “opponent” is telling you?  What words and thoughts enter your mind, what do you tell yourself?  What’s now happening in your body? Finding and focusing…

Can you acknowledge the words, sensations.  Let them know you’ve heard or felt them. 

Can you ask if part of you would relax a tiny bit, come and meet with you..  what does it want you to know?   You’re ‘friending’ it now.  You could ask… What it’s role in your system? How old is it?  When did it first come in?  Can it show you other times its been around?  What is it afraid would happen if it didn't do its job?  How do you feel towards it?  If warm, curious compassionate can you beam that toward them?  Can you – if congruent - send it some loving gratitude?  Can you give it some acknowledgement for its hard work?  How does it feel to be validated by you?   And just for now would it come and be next to you, relax a little … you’re here.  Nothing to change nothing to fix right now.. 

So.. check again.. how do you feel towards this ‘other’, the opponent … or see if there are any other parts around.. maybe on the other side of the table.  Where do you find this one in and around your body?  Focus on it a bit.  Friend it. Acknowledge that one… what does it want you to know?... thank it for its presence.  How old is this one?… can it take a peek at you?  just for now, can it too relax a little, feel your presence.  Would it trust you a little to be here

How do you feel towards this opponent?  Any other parts?  Can they just unblend a little so you can be here, your calm, curiosity, clarity, presence…  

Can you imagine your breath going to all these parts internally and filling them with compassion, Can you let them know you’re an adult now, with a support system, an overview, boundaries, self-care and other parts. Might you take time to really letting them get a sense of you.

Check in again, see if you can feel the presence of Self energy, that inner compass, that inner knowing, what needs to be spoken for, what needs to happen, according to your values.. see if there’s something that springs up to be said or done. 

Any last questions, concerns or requests from anyone inside?  Thanking everyone for their input! Their hard work and their care for you.  When you’re ready come on out